I don't want to be alone!!

How is it possible that everything I ever dreamed of is gone? and everything is just one thing?

I just wanted one thing! one thing! How in the world is it possible that that one thing is out of my reach. I can't even see it? can't even imagine it!

I don't think it is possible to hurt anymore, to hate anymore, to envy anymore, to be anymore frustrated.
to pretend anymore.

I just wanted to be a mother. That is all I wanted. I would have traded every moment of happiness in my life to just have that one.

My heart is broken and no one can possibly understand. Can you?

~ele

Its been a year- and I am half

The year went by like lightning. The first 3 months are a blur.

My path is so different now and I am not even sure who I am.

I tried being the person I was before- don't like her anymore.

tried being the person he wanted me to be- don't know how.

Now I have to find myself and that is a challenge.

I thought I was a wife, mother, daughter, friend.

1/2 of me is gone.

Searching for it's replacement.

~ele