Fire and Ice

Its not Yin and Yang, its not opposites attract, its fire and ice. two elements that can not be combined no matter how hard you try, one consumes the other and in the end, they both die.

i feel like i am dying

~el

I can't breath

I can't catch my breath. I feel like I am literally drowning.

how can I do this to him, to us.

But I've crossed the line and can't go back.

My will to continue down this path is not strong anymore

i can't keep telling myself this is my life.

I don't know what kind of life I will have in the future but I know I am doing the right thing for us both.

God give me strength. Please God, give me strength.

~el

Grew a pair

The torture is over but actually it has just begun.

After telling you I'm leaving I have to pick up my life where i left it before you but with another piece of my heart broken off.

I am numb with sadness and dont know if I can cry one more tear but know I will cry millions more.

Being in this house with you is the sadest thing but I don't know how to begin to leave.

Seeing our life together laid out and reflected in every object and speck of dust is debilitating.

I can't even begin to describe the guilt I feel.

I just hope that this too shall pass.

and then I found this.



~el