It instantly brings burning tears to my eyes. the feeling that I am such a horrible person for not just suffering through. That I should push my needs to the back and settle for a life unfulfilled. I dont even know how to do that. Its been so long since I have felt like myself. I couldn't do this for much longer, and it took all of my strength so say those sad words.
it keeps sucking me in. This guilt. I just want to be happy but I find myself waivering between possibly moving on and feeling like I never will.
I have to move on, i have to move on, i have to move on. oh god this is horrible.
~el
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