Final papers

Thinking of the end and having it so near is both calming and completely anxiety inducing at the same time.
Its the right thing, I know it is.Its the only way, I know it is.
Its just so hard knowing he is alone. I know it will be for a long time.
Every time I think I've completely let go, I think of him, of how much he loved me, of how hard he tried and I wonder...

But only for a moment because I know that no amount of trying was ever going to be enough and that has to be the answer. Life is happening exactly as it is supposed to and second guessing choices gets us nowhere.
~el