until i leave

if only i could find the strength to pack my things and go out on my own.

if only packing didnt seem like such an impossible step.

if only i didnt desperately want to hold him and make the pain go away.

if only 7 years hadn't gone by and the path we took veer so far off course.

if only there were a glimmer of hope that someday we could get back on track.

if only this was easy. but it won't get easier and it won't get better until i leave.

~el

"I myself am made of flaws, stitched together with good intentions"

~anonymous